


Blue and red

by 0a_maiz_ing0



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood, Gore, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, eh, this is a vent i'm gonna be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-28 09:49:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15046316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0a_maiz_ing0/pseuds/0a_maiz_ing0
Summary: Lance is the lowest he's ever been. And Keith finds him in a pile of blood..





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> \- suicide mentions   
> \- self harm 
> 
> this isnt a fun and dandy fic i'll just say that

It's cold

colder than usual anyway..

damn he had just got a new shirt as well.. now its ruined.. because of him.. well when is it not..

The concern for his health leaked out of his arm as the words spoken from his leader echoed in his mind. The sharpness in his tone mirroring the steel on his flesh. It stings, although he doesn't feel it like he usually would. The almost comforting feeling of ripping himself apart. Because it's what he deserves. The cold air rooting its way into his exposed muscles calms his nerves as he goes for another.

 

There's a lot of blood now.. but he keeps going. Maybe he can find an exit in the confusing layout of life. The hot tears he didn't realize were dripping down his face are now heating his arm. The tears are now a georgous blue in the light. The blue and red substances dilute together and it's almost pretty the way they swirl around each other , both searching for dominance or.. survival. Its soaking into his leg now. He's surrounded. The coolness dissopating into an angry fire burning through his muscles. He can't move his arms. The reality of the situation dawns on him as his arms go numb against his sides. Now all he can do is sit. And wait for it to be over. He's allways been impatient but..he can relax now..

 

 

"lance..?"

 

\-----------------------------------------------

Keith wanders through the halls.. sleep has stood him up tonight so he stumbornly ignores gravity pushing his eyelids together. After a few hours training like that he should be exhausted enough to sleep. Well thats what he was planning until a hiss comes through a door..

A quick intake of breath. A pained noise.. but not a panicked one..

He closes the gap between him and the door and listens to the pained cry of his fellow paladin. The noise dies down and a clatter against the ground can be heard. 

"lance..?"

no reply.

"hey.. lance?"

nothing 

"I'm coming in okay?" He couldn't stop the pathetic tone of worry leaking into his voice. He pushed in the code quicker than normal and as the door opened his heart stopped. This is so much worse than anything he could have imagined.

Lance was slumped between the wall and the floor, covered in blood. His usual perfect skin cracked with angry red. His eyes were almost closed but they opened slightly at Keiths arival. The only real clue he was alive at all. Keith stood their for a second, though it felt like a year. Chocking on the images he was being force fed. 

He leaped into action and grabbed some towels from the bathroom. He quickly wrapped them tighly around Lance, Who was now slowly drifting into slumber.

The next few moments were a blur. Keith hadn't realise he had been screaming until the team showed up , concerned, at the door. Coran ran into the room , surprisingly calm, and took Lance and quickly relocated him into a healing pod. Everyone was crying. But to everyones surprise neither hunk nor pidge were the one's crying the most.. Keith was. He couldn't breath. The bluely tinted tears were cooling his burning face as he sat on the ground with his head in his hands. No one stopped him or tried to calm him down because they were all panicking as the reality set in.

Lance just tried to kill himself.

\----------------------------------------------------

It had been a week.

an entire week without Lance. Or his stupid jokes that the team were sure they were having withdrawrl from. Visiting The healing pod had been like visitng a gravestone. The lifless expression on his face really didn't suit him and the team shivered everytime. Lifeless. The exact oposite word anyone would use to describe Lance And god.. They all hoped it wasn't a perminant change.

Coran had stated that he was due to be out by another day or two but that didn't stop Keith from visiting every night until then. He was as confused as the team at his sudden attachment to Lance.. He didn't dwell on it.

\---------------------------------------------------

Cold had allways been a comforting feeling for Lance. But not this. Being surrounded. Trapped in an eternal freeze. He wondered if this all the afterlife was ; trapped, cold and alone. 

Although he didn't have time to stagnate on the thought as he felt himself fall into a pair of strong arms. They were warm.. Really warm.The coldness evaporated around him. He snuggled slighlty into the warmth and hummed softly. He cracked open his eyes to greet the gates of heaven but instead was greeted by a glorious purple. His vision was blurly so he couldnt quite make out the rest of the picture but he could see purple. He had no doubt this was heaven. It had to be.

 

His ears rang comfortably as a noise broke his trance..only slightly though. He couldnt quite describe the noise other than just that.. a noise. He could feel his lips break into a smile as he continued to pour his attention into the purple. But the colours around it began to unblur. 

 

"..Lance?... LANCE!!"

 

His eyes widened and he drank up the sight of keith. He took a moment to assess his surroundings. The team was there.. Concerned looks plastered on their faces. He glanced back to Keith again.

"h-hey.." He spoke about as detached as he felt.

Hunk who seemed to be holding back tears suddenly broke and rammed into Lance. A hug easily capable of breaking bones if recieved from the wrong angle. He smiled and hugged back.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU..fckn DUMB IDIOT!! godfuck ugh..!"

His smile faltered at the concern in his voice. Memories flooded back to him and he broke away.

He rolled his sleeve up to glance at the white slashes covering his arm. Everyone in the room flinched except Coran. Allura gasped, Pidge flinched so hard she almost fell over, Shiro's eyes widened and Keith and Hunk's eyes lowered as if reliving a vivid memory. whilst Coran just smiled sadly.

Lance just sighed. He closed his eyes before taking a deep breath and glanced up at the Team with a small smile.

"sorry.." 

The sincerity of the comment made everyone look at Lance to check it was still him. He chuckled weakly at there gaze. They had so many questions but somehow it didn't feel like they needed to ask.

" Before you kick me off the Team let me explain myself first.."

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

That conversation had alot of crying. From everyone invlolved. Alot of hugs too. But for the first time in a long time warmth had a confort to it. It wasn't uncomfortable or clammy. it was just.. nice

 

"I'm sorry guys.. i just.. i thought it was the only way to.. i wanted to fix-"

 

"You wouldn't have fixed anything!.. you would have broken everything.."

 

Keiths voice was unnexpected for even him. He didn't stutter he just kept determined eye contact with Lance. He was going to win this battle with sheer will.

 

"oh.." Lance looked like he realised something. He didn't say anything he just smiled.


	2. Come back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> considering this is actually a klance fic I gotta add some fluff lets go bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was really fucking fun to write especially that argument scene omf

So that had happened.

almost 2 days ago actually, not that Lance was counting or anything..

Its funny, the thing that Lance craves the most was now his undoing. Attention. He felt like he was suffocating in it. Questions.. he himself didn't have the answers to..

Although a certain raven haired hot head had been keeping his distance. It was strange, almost like he understood. However he would catch concerned looks laced with sadness.

Food Goo tasted the same. He was numb to its overwhelming repetiveness. Well come to think of it, he was becoming numb to.. everything. Every question pushing him further into exstistentialism..

He wasn't used to the team knowing either. Of course Hunk knew. God knows he wouldn't have made it out of the garison without that blessing.

And Coran..

He remebered the conversation fondly. He had been taked to the imfirmary for inspection and Coran had found his scars. He was surprised at first but then opened up and gave Lance some serious advice. It was nice. Like judgement wasn't even in Corans genetic code; it was great. He had a soft spot for that ginger legend. He mentaly softened thinking about the caring look in his eyes that day.

But then there was everyone else. Pidge could barely make eye contact without tearing up and inevitably leaving the room with her mouth covered like she was about to be sick. Lance knew she hadn't meant to but he felt like it was his fault.. Like she was repulsed by him. The numb feeling claimed his mind once more as he briefly remembered the look on her face. Allura was the complete oposite. She tried to be practical and Lance couldn't blame her for trying to be productive but he could tell she was faking it. Then their was Shiro. He was somewhere in between the two in terms of a reaction. He tried to stay productive but couldn't hold a stable conversation with Lance without his voice wavering and visable shaking.

Look at what your doing to the team..

He considered the statement but his eyes didn't water. His body didn't shake like it had before. He was just.. emotionless. And it was starting to scare him. Was he allways going to be like this? What if he didn't get better? what if-

 

"hey"

 

Pulled from his thoughts, Lance turned to find the owner of the voice and of course..

 

Keith.

Keith's reaction had been strange. It wasn't like he was avoiding Lance. He made pleasant conversation and made the occasional quip or tease. Odd as it was their arguments were soothing and familiar; He needed it at that moment. But something in the way he looked at Lance.. It made him feel at ease. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was something he was missing.

 

"sup, mullet"

 

He was almost proud at how even his voice was, considering his previous train of thought. He smiled weakly before turning back to his uneaten food goo. He didn't want to eat it but he did when Keith was watching him like a hawk. Keith took a seat next to him and Lance tried to ignore the sudden jolt in his heart rate. Keith sighed and Lance knew what was coming.. He had 'the talk' with the rest of the crew and of course keith was going t-

 

"Lance i have something important to ask you..."

 

oof here it comes...

"It could change our friendship forever so bare that in mind.."

Lance was actually bracing for impact when Keith looked at him with the most serious face and said,

 

"do you like hippos?.."

 

Lance didn't think he could have snorted any louder. It actually hurt his nose. When he opened his eyes to look at Keith his deadpan seriousness and it was cracking him up again. He couldn't make eye contact without giggling.

 

"Lance this is serious" He couldn't keep the smile out of his voice.

 

"is-pfft- is that what you came to talk to me about?"

 

"shut your dick this shit is a game changer"

 

"ahh yes-*snort*- i keep forgeting to close my dick thank you for reminding me"

 

" Comebacks have allways been my main talent in life shut your ass"

 

They bantered back and forth for a while, both ending up in extensive giggling fits and snorts. A giddy feeling was bubbling in Lances stomach as he watched Keith's bright smile. Wait.. 

 

He was feeling..

 

The realisation of this made him abruptly stop laughing and instead a goofy smile plastered on his face. Keith, who was still recovering from their last meme, turned to Lance with a confused but joyfull expression. He was about to ask what was wrong when he felt the Blue paladins arm wrap tightly around his back. He cautiously moved his arms to Lances lower back and Lance rested his head on Keith's shoulder. He sighed. Keith was a really good hugger.

 

"Thank you Keith.."

 

Keith chuckled. "for what?"

 

"for not treating me different"

 

"why would i treat you different? you're still Lance"

 

He felt Lance flinch; maybe not the best choice of words.

"what? pathetic? helpless? weak?" Lance's voice audibly shook.

"no. You're still Lance; brave, strong, funny and smart. Always put others feelings above you're own even if it tears you apart. You're caring and kind and held out for us as long as you could and I refuse to blame or interegate you for what you did because.. I've been there.."

Those last words came out as a shaky whisper and Lance pulled back to look at Keith. He looked on the brink of tears and godamnit so was Lance. Those simple three words. Completley changed how he viewed Keith. God he wasn't alone. Look at this angel sent from heaven just look at this brilliant being. He was so lucky, he could just cry. And oh god he was crying. The confort of knowing he wasn't alone was enought to make him genuinley smile. And Keith smiled back.

 

And at that moment Lance couldn't keep it in any longer; he had to say something. Godamn anything.

 

"Keith don't freak out but i think i like you.. as in like like you.."

Lance had to bite away a smile at the adorable reaction he was gifted. Keith's face went red and his eyes widened, Looking away suddenley.

 

"yeah? well i.. i think i like you too" His tone was both competitive and soft and it melted Lance's heart and he couldn't bite back the grin spreading on his face. How could he have been blessed by this gorgeous creature?

"oh yEAH? well I'm going to kiss you now!"

"YeaH? well maYBEe you sH-"

He was cut off by Lances mouth and relaxed into it, smiling. The world blurred in the background and it was only them.. in a sea of comfort. Burning hot emotions stinging their souls comfortably as waves of ease crashed over the two. Comfort wasn't a strong enough word to describe the bliss of the innocent connection. Neither wanting more. Neither needing more.

 

of course a kiss with Keith wasn't going to heal him but it was a damn good step in the right direction..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yES I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT OMG   
> now I can get back to my fuckin sin fic yes 
> 
> (sorry for any gramatical errors whoops i don't actually know how to write)

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry my fellow gays i'm fixing this in the next chapter..


End file.
